A group of crazy, neurotic, absolutely hilarious erotic romance authors working together to corrupt the world... one reader at a time.

Friday, January 18, 2013

NAUGHTY HOTNESS <--You've been warned.

I want to say something here about that Naughty title…something light and dismissive like, “Oh ha ha! I’m not so naughty! Pshaw.” But, I can’t. It’s well-deserved. In my “real” life I work for a large, conservative corporation and I try to behave but I’m not very good at it. One of my old bosses wouldn’t join the “group lunch” if I was going because he was afraid he’d get in trouble. Like maybe HR would do some sort of “inappropriate-for-work conversation” sting and he’d get caught up in it.

Pussy.

I have a story that kinda sums it up, and it’s a great story in that it’s, at the same time, really embarrassing and really hilarious. A coworker told me that she’d met a friend of mine. When she told me his name my stomach knotted. These people at work already think I’m crazy, but they haven’t even scratched the surface. This friend she’d met...well, let’s just say he’d been present at more than one classic moment. He’s a married friend! No swinging going on—nothing like that. Just some crazy, fun, drunk, misbehaving nights of which he was a participant.

I tried to act casual. “Oh? Where did you meet him? How did my name come up?”

Her response: “I was waiting in the lobby at my hairdresser’s and he was sitting next to me talking to another man. He told this man some story, and when he finished the story, the other man replied, ‘NO WAY that happened.’ And your friend replied, 'You’ve obviously never met [insert my first AND LAST NAME HERE].'

So let’s think about that for a second. This man’s response to the tale of my antics was, “NO WAY THAT HAPPENED.” Wow. It must have been quite a story. My coworker piped in at this point to the two men and said, “I know [insert my full name here]!” and they proceeded to have a conversation about me.

Now my stomach wasn’t just knotted, it was sinking. Horribly. “So, uh, what was the story he was telling?” Coworker: “Oh I don’t remember.” I just smiled and said, “Well that’s awful polite of you not to remember,” and then I fled. 

I thought about it for a long time, going over all the likely story-candidates in my head. There was that one time I did that… Oh and when I said…. Maybe it was that time I… Etc. etc.

But after a while I sought my coworker back out, and said this:  “Do you want to know the funniest part of that whole story you told me earlier? Ever since you told me, I’ve been going over things I've done, stories it might have been, and honestly, I can't even narrow it down to a TOP FIVE LIST of which story he might have told about me."

Hence...Naughty Hotness.


PRE-ORDER Fondled & Gobbled: Someone Had To Do it

Quick excerpt from my story in the Fondled & Gobbled book: 


They closed in on her… Five muscled studs, large and tanned and in possession of delicious sausage secrets shared only amongst themselves. Emily instantly dropped the package, the condoms, her diet plan and her good intentions and squealed as five sets of strong hands carried her like their new toy to the kitchen table she’d set for one.


I also have a hot, hometown novella. Dylan's a lumberjack. He's good with his tools. He brings the wood. Oh he brings it...:

Excerpt: 

“What? No!” She spit the words out as quickly as she thought them but didn’t make any movement to remove his hand from her thigh. In unison, they looked down at his hand moving on her thigh like it was a situation both of them were helpless to put a stop to.

Dylan didn’t pause his slow caress. She wanted to stop him—knew she should stop him—but it felt so nice, his large hand on her bare leg…

No! She was not about to begin her holiday weekend in some kind of a remake of her senior year of high school. She already had one crushing memory of Dylan and she had no intention of making it a matching set.

“Dylan…” Her voice sounded uncertain though she’d been shooting for resolute. Taking a fortifying breath, she closed her eyes. Turning him away would be easier if she wasn’t looking into those clear blue eyes she’d seen so many times in her fantasies. “I’m not interested in rekindling a sexual relationship with you.”

“Not a relationship,” he said, his words as soothing as his touch, “just a demonstration of how I’d take care of you if you were my girl.” His hand felt hot against her skin and his confident sexuality spoke to a carnal part of her she’d kept buried for too long. “C’mon, Kip. You need it, and I’ll make sure you enjoy yourself.”

He inched his hand higher on her thigh, his intense gaze issuing a challenge to her to stop him if she didn’t want it.

But she wanted it.


And my most recent release, a BDSM quickie that’s tailor made for folks who love domination but aren’t in love with all of the “gear” that can go along with BDSM. Just plain, raw, “you will submit to me” kinda stuff. Enjoy!! 


Bossing the Boss Excerpt: 

“Ro— I mean, Mr. Quinn,” Lauren began, her voice trembling and barely above a whisper. “What are you going to do to me?”

“Anything I want,” Rob growled. “You’re always so demanding, Lauren, always in charge.” He traced his fingers down her back, leaving a trail of chills. “You drive me so hard at work. You have no idea all the things I've imagined doing to you. I've wanted for so long to make you submit to me. To demand things of you, but in my bed. You need this lesson. It’ll be good for you.”

THANKS FOR HANGING OUT WITH ME!!!!


Oh, and because we LOVE followers we're running a contest through the month of January.

To enter to win an awesome Amazon gift card($100.00), subscribe to our blog and comment on any or all of our posts this month. Each comment equals one entry. Subscribing equals two entries. Make sure to leave your email addy on your comments

The winner will be chosen at the end of the month and contacted via email.

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- Winners are final.- Contest Starts 00:01EST January 1st, 2013 and Ends 12:59EST January 31st, 2013 and open to International participants- Winners will be notified via email, twitter, or facebook no later than 12:00EST Feb 3rd, 2013 -Respond by date to collect prize is 14 days from notification date.

20 comments:

  1. I feel like I got robbed somehow. I've hung out with you and I have not one OMG Piper is crazy story. You owe me next time I see you.

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    1. You are a book reviewer! I had to at least pretend to be professional. But not anymore...the cat's out of the bag. Or the pussy, if you will. ;)

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  2. The thing is...this doesn't surprise me at all, Naughty. I knew you were bad the morning you sat with us for breakfast and started talking about Nick's sausage.

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    1. Ah yes, when I nestled Nick's naked calendar photo in my hotel bed-sheets and then tweeted pix about how I spent time in bed with an undressed Caveman. There was also some mention of paper cuts in sensitive areas, if I recall.

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  3. ROFL! Well, Piper, I'm pleased to meet you, Ms. Naughty! Clearly I could take a few lessons from you ;) Maybe I'll have to hang out with that friend of yours and hear some of the stories he has to tell :D

    f dot chen at comcast dot net

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  4. Hi, F.Chen! I'm glad you enjoyed my intro! And no, that friend has had a serious talking-to about telling stories about me and PARTICULARLY using my first and last name!! Sheesh. :)

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    1. Rats! ;) Well, SOME of us would show a greater appreciation for your escapades and naughtiness! ;p Will look forward then instead to learning more about and from you directly :D

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  5. You always make me laugh, Piper, and this is no different. anya at anyabreton com

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  6. Anya I always love to make you laugh! *mwah!*

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  7. I guess I missed that special "nekkid" calendar. So did you ever find out which story they were talking about? And now I know why Danica said you were a sausage type a girl. lol

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    1. I think the calendar was in my bag of Romanticon swag. No, I decided I really didn't want to know what story my coworker knew about me. I thought it would only make it worse. :) And yes, Danica likes to call me her sausage-slappin' sista. LOL

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  8. LOL!! I have trouble reigning in my dirty mind IRL, as well! You and I would get along well! ;)

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    1. I'm sure we would! We'd be in the HR office together, arguing, "But it was FUNNY! No? That doesn't make it okay?"

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    2. ...or we could start our own naughty business where dirty minds are not only accepted, but encouraged! ;)

      The people in the HR office would be those who DON'T tell dirty jokes! :D

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  9. I'm a new follower. I know Danica, but Piper, I believe you were at an Ohio Valley RWA meeting in Cincinnati (a friend of Becky's?). Am I right? Or am I going nuts? (Which is a good possibility.)

    (semckitrick (at) aol (dot) com)

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    1. That's me!! Thanks for stopping by! We really miss Becke round these parts...

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  10. lol..I've seen Bossing the Boss around and it looks hot!! I bet he gets some good moves in there!!

    viajeradelmar@aol.com

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    Replies
    1. Check it out! It's a quick, hot read. :)

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  11. You sound like someone I'd like to hang around with Miss Naughty Hotness! Bossing the Boss is in my TBR pile :)

    Eva aka Vixen Hottie
    evitap67(at)gmail(dot)com

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  12. Hey, Vixen Hottie! (AKA Eva) Thanks for the comment! We could hang out, but we'd probably need bail money. :) I don't know if you've gotten to Bossing the Boss yet, but I hope you enjoy it!!! (sorry this reply is so late--I wasn't "subscribed" to the comments and didn't see yours!)

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